I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
