WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
