Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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