I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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