you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
