I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
