In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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