I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
