It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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