Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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