dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
