Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize