SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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