I cockslap morals
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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