he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
