none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
