Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
