Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
