I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
