I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
