Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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