No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just high enough for therapy.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
