Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
