I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
