Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
