guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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