I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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