Im at strip club and am horny
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize