On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize