If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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