You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
