Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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