:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
