i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Still dying that you shit outside
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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