sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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