i would punch a child for taco bell
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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