So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
