I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
