if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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