I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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