Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
we have pet lesbian snakes
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize