I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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