Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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