fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
