he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
