Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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