But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There r osticjed everywhere
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
