The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
