did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize