Sry I called you an 8
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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