Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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