its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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