your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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