i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
