the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
