You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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