He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
