I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
