shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
