i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
