I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
