tell your sister to shave her snatch
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
