they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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