She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
wow bdsm is so cute
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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