I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
