i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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