You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
