he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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