the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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