you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
only you would photoshop your dick
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
